Leah’s Daughter’s Words











{March 7, 2009}   You Are My Everything

Lord, You really are. Thank you for showing me that in the little things. Help my heart to pray for people, even when “I don’t wanna, I don’t wanna, I don’t WANNA!” lol (smh), it’s true though. I love where You have me at and am excited to see where You are taking me. I just loooove You!

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{March 5, 2009}   S.O.S.!!

I’m not even sure what that stands for anymore, lol. But, I think it has to do with needing help… at least sometimes. Anyway! I don’t know what happened. I was doing great. Then I just got so heavy. I need to talk to God. I have to. Because on He knows what’s up and what I need to see. I just have been realizing how in love with Him I have been lately and kinda despising anything/one that might seem like they would be in the way of that. Not in a “I hate your guts way” but a “don’t think you’re getting in front” kinda way. That is good for me, because it shows growth. Anyways… I need to go handle my business. My refuge. I love You!



{February 25, 2009}   No More Idols

It’s been an interesting week and I’m fightin like never before… at least I hope I am. Sometimes it doesn’t seem like it. It’s more of this consistensy thing that’s been rough on me. I have the desire to get it in with the Lord and read my Word, but there have been days where I have wondered where time has gone aside from “little convos” with Him.

I’m seeing certain things in my life that look like they’ve been weightier than what my focus should be… so here I am at this point that many people face and have faced, but it sounds weird to say it these days, but Lord I cast down my idols… give me clean hands and a pure heart… let me not lift my soul to another.



{February 17, 2009}   Glimpse of You

I am in an ironic sense overjoyed… not because of what happened today, but because of what and Who I saw in me today. I saw a glimpse of Jesus in the heat of a moment that could have changed the rest of my life. Usually it’s used as an expression, “you have pretty much thrown dirt in my face.” And there are usually many negative connotations to follow that. As for me, today, it literally happened, among other things. My client threw dirt in my face, a lot of it. I didn’t get angry, I didn’t react. I was definitely hurt, but then I saw the glory God could get from whatever my response was from this situation. It is awesome to see how far He’s brought me, because I know for sure that the old me would’ve been not only fired, but likely arrested. This wasn’t on no “non-violence” tip either, but to show off the glory of God by not reacting to how I feel and to forgive somebody that meant nothing but harm. I am grateful for His love and presence in my life.



{February 15, 2009}   10 Things I Hate About You

I’m feeling romantic-comedy-ish right now… thinking about some things in the midst of getting others out of my system. Things are really going well until I think about this… but I know and believe this will pass… so here goes…

10 Things I Hate About You

10. I hate that you are more stubborn than I am

9. I hate that you keep secrets

8. I hate that you make decisions when you know you aren’t sure

7. I hate that you are afraid to be alone, it concerns me

6. I hate that we’re not friends anymore and it doesn’t seem to phase you

5. I hate that you didn’t keep your words to me, wonder if you ever meant it

4. I hate that we have all these mutual friends so now it’s harder to escape you

3. I hate that you used to make me smile/laugh when I was mad at you

2. I hate that you thought replacing me would make things better, it didn’t

1. I hate the way you say goodbye and walked away from me/us… it’s so permanant

It was good to get that out. I am moving forward, but it still hurts. I don’t know if I have ever been to such a place in my life. It’s growing me up something crazy, but Lord, if this is the life of growing up… a big part of me is sayin “I don’t wanna grow up, I’m a Toys R Us kid” lol, but seriously. This is so jacked up it almost seems wrong. I feel like I am watching someone make the biggest mistake of their life and all I can do is let them… or maybe it’s me that made the mistake of agreeing to try this out in the first place way back when… Oh God, You know… time will tell and You will heal… it really hurts though… Thank You for lifting my head!



{February 10, 2009}   It’s Actually Not Bad At All…

I was going to entitle this “it’s not so bad” but as I thought about the full scope of my situation, it isn’t bad at all. I think he said it best, “but I don’t hate you/ I’m sayin’ thank you/ I’m movin on with my life/ hope everything is great for you!” It was so funny, the conversation I had the other day with a very wise woman that told me that you know people by their fruit. Regardless of if you’re being told one thing… look at what they do. It brought me back to a conversation I had last month with an old friend and she shared with me something that someone else had shared with her, “when somebody shows you who they are, believe them.” And that’s pretty much where I’ve been. I was told many a things that promised a plethora of things (yeah, I had to pull that word out lol)… but the reality was the exact opposite. I guess it’s “same script, different cast.” If only you could sue for false advertisement when it came to love lol, then we’d really be in a Great Depression lol. But it’s actually really all good. Love covers a multitude of wrongs, right? That it does. And it’s gonna cover multiples of multiples in this case because like I always say… “if I wasn’t built for this… God wouldn’t allow it” I’m free. I’m happy. I saw all I needed to see with that one. And when I’m ready… I’ll know.



{February 8, 2009}   Life After Love Lost…

There is.

Thank God.

Seriously.



{February 7, 2009}   The Epitome of A Friend

A simple reality check has come my way recently. Something that could be considered obvious, but in my mind hadn’t apparently been so obvious. The friend(s) I have been wanting, searching for, breaking my neck to obtain, risking my feelings to maintain among several other things was all wrong. I’ve been putting people in a place/position they have no place. Having certain expectations of them that they could never meet, therefore wasting everybody’s time with a void they can’t fill. I know people always say things like, “oh baby, don’t you know you have a friend in Jesus?” but when you aren’t really trying to hear that, you agree and walk away. Or sometimes finding yourself saying things like that or “God accepts you even when others don’t” and the crazy thing is, I’ve never tried to understand the things I have learned and have passed on the way that I am now. It could be because I have been broguht so low, and realizing He was all I could reach for, maybe that’s what it took to wake me up unfortunately. But you know what… to know, to truly know what I know now and have what I have now, it was well worth it. God has really been that awesome Friend, that never failing Father, or Daddy rather… who woulda knew…

“I sing because I’m happy, I sing because I’m free!”



{January 25, 2009}   Restoration Feels Wonderful

I am… overjoyed… the past week or so I have been in this… “slump” of for some reason not wanting to or simply just not reading my Bible for myself. I mean I have read it for assignments and other things I have needed it for, but when it came time for me, I would either skim, make excuses or just go to sleep, etc. Last night was the last night and I sought His help. Got in my word and asked to restore the joy of my salvation amongst other things in Psalm 51. I feel so rejuvenated (if I spelled it right). My eyes are on the right things. I am so excited about my life, especially in knowing it doesn’t depend on anything or anyone else, but what Gods has planned for me, regardless. Everything else and everyone else additional will/would be great, but it has nothing to do with my destiny. I do want to get married some day and have a family, I sincerely do in the right timing. I have 50 million little businesses and ideas floating around in my head that I would really like to impliment someday, I sincerely do in the right timing. I have a lot of vision for all of those things. I really hope who I think would be that one is there with me through this, but if not, I’m sure what God has is perfect regardless. Anywho, I sing because I’m happy, I sing because I’m free! Glory to God!



{January 21, 2009}   Today Wasn’t the Same

At first, I thought I had a pretty good day… no drama…at first. But even before the drama, I realized that I ate but wasn’t full, physically, but it spoke to a spiritual reality. I’d prayed I don’t know how many times today, and got in my word for ministry purposes, but for me… zero. I went from store to store to try to find a “healthy snack” to hold me over until I got home. I found several, but they didn’t satisfy. Then it hit me when I was on the road… food wasn’t what I was hungry, starving, nor longing for. It was that my day was “okay” but only okay, yet in several ways it didn’t make much sense because You weren’t in it. You were the topic of much conversation, but we didn’t talk. I really missed Jesus today. Both figuratively and literally. I missed Him by passing by opportunities to holla at Him and I missed Him, because He would’ve made my day more than okay. I missed You Lord. I don’t want to ever have to miss You like this. I need to come after You more.

I need You like water, like breath, like rain…



et cetera