Leah’s Daughter’s Words

{January 12, 2009}   Remaining Hopeful

I’m fighting my thoughts… my emotions… doubt. I can’t allow it to have any control over me. It’s rough though… this friends thing. But I am really making great efforts, even if it feels weird. Even if it feels more weird when I talk to the other person involved. I’m trying to stay… “neutral” I guess. I don’t know what else to do. A part of me is feeling like “wake me up when this is over” but I gotta fight despite that. I know what I want… just not sure if it will happen. I’m seeing things that I could take as confirmations, but I just don’t know until I know I guess…. or maybe it’s I just won’t believe it until I see it kinda thing. I am trying to be patient and keep my focus where it needs to be and not let the fact that I think about him, us, or the possible us, or even the impossible us. I am and have learned a lot these past 8 months though…


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