Leah’s Daughter’s Words











{December 27, 2008}   Overload

Okay, so I’m kinda realizing what I am doing to myself… these long shifts are def taking their toll… my house is a mess, but I haven’t been here the past few days to deal with it. So that ends today cuz it’s not cool. So I’ve been pursuing purity and asking God to help me think soberly, (which in addition, He also knows is code for make the feelings go away, tell me no about that one so I can just leave it alone) BUT that part just won’t happen! A for effort though, right? I mean I am not going to say anything anymore, but my question becomes, “Lord, what do I do with my heart?” I’ve never been here before. Even beyond my feelings is whatever this is that’s keeping me at this point won’t go away. I pray it isn’t in vain, even though it 99.999% looks that way. Our “friendship” is still rocky, but I’ll be patient, especially since there is nothing else I can do. I just wish I had the ability that guys have in cutting things off, but then again I don’t because I want to get through this not over it…

“i’m in love wit u… but the vibe is wrong”

“how could u be so cold as the winter wind when it breeze yo”

“after all the things that we been thru”

“ayo, I did some things but that’s the old me”

“you got a new friend, but I got homies, but in the end-still so lonely”

” they don’t know what we been through, they don’t know bout me & u”

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