Leah’s Daughter’s Words

{November 30, 2008}   Jealous

More Than Friends by 3LW

I’m not gonna front. I am. I am flat out jealous and I hate it. I hate it so much, but it’s the truth. I am jealous of the time and attention that just about everyone gets, especially those that he wants to give that attention to. Lord, please help me not to lose my focus and push passed the way I feel and keep my eyes on You. I don’t want it to be this way. I don’t want to feel like this. I am tempted to ask him some things, but I’m afraid of two things” 1) he’ll say what I don’t want to hear, which is no. 2) it’ll complicate things. I guess, I wish I could read him better, but it is almost impossible to get in there anymore… especially since I have been out for so long.

Why does this have to be my life right now? I don’t even want a relationship right now. I just really dig him and don’t want him to go anywhere. Help my foolish, idealistic, teenage thinking. I want peace Daddy, I need it. This isn’t how love works, is it? I don’t want these feelings to be a part of me. It hurts more to see that it doesn’t seem like he feels anything… ever. Help my insecurties. Remind me every moment of who I am in You. You made me beautiful and worth both, waiting and fighting for… let me only desire the man that is willing to do that and learn how to wait. Father PLEASE!!


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