Leah’s Daughter’s Words











{November 23, 2008}   Help My Mind!!

I have been so distracted these passed few days and rather irritable and it has NOT been pretty. I try to fight off the irritated thoughts, but the distractions have surely won the battle this week…. unfortunately. It’s as if, I have used just about everything to keep me from doing schoolwork and I have spent a lot of time trying to tell myself not to think about ol boy which makes me think about him, especially when people bring him up, even though on the inside I get kinda excited that they did.

Lord, I feel like I’ve been kinda dissin u this week. I mean we’ve talked, but I feel distant and it could be because I’ve been trippin. I want to want what You want and want to do what You want me to do. I don’t want to be in these cycles of waiting until I mess up or fall hard before I listen to You.

I feel kinda numb to my little world in a sense that I kinda feel like everything so they cancel themselves out. I don’t know how to explain it. I have my future running through my mind like crazy and I want it to go away, I don’t want to think about it or him. Especially since it doesn’t look good. Especially since if it were to work out, now is not the time. Lord, help me!!

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